Me, myself and I

Saturday, October 22, 2005

As Bitter as Wormwood...

I am feeling bitter again..
Sleeping too much..
TRying desperately to study but always in vain..
I hold grudges of some of my dearest friends..
Vent my anger on Handsome..
And cried myself to sleep that night..
Not because of the fact we argued..
But because I feel stupid..
I am losing faith..
The confidence that I always had has drained away..
Too fast that I feel I am losing myself..

I am losing hope..
Friends keep telling me that "Gal, you can do it!"
Thanks for the motivation..
But I fear I can't live up to expections..
Of my frens, my family and utimately..of myself..
I feel everything is wrong..
I am at pit bottom again..

I wanna go shopping, go clubbing, get wasted..
Buy a gorgeous shirt, get a branded bag..
Down some 6 apple cidal..3 tequila pops..10 vodka orange..1 beer..
Eat good food like that Japanese BBQ at Riverside Quay,
or Fish and Co that I had been lusting for..
Sleep in on a weekend afternoon..watch TV..and rot..

BUT I CANt'T..
I haven done anything like that eversince I started school..
Eversince I am a NANYANG SCHOLAR..
I wake up to study..
Study until I sleep..
Eat cup noodles for dinner..
Treat myself with some Apollo bread and sweets and choc milk..
Thinking that they may make me happier..

Well, ironically..
Its gonna end soon..
You aint gonna be a scholar anymore..
Cos you are shitty in ya results..
And you are of no use to NTU at all....

I miss my lil office is NUS..
I need a hug..
I want to cry..

|11:44 AM|

Friday, October 21, 2005

Goodbye Audrey..

Recently I learned about the death of an acquaintance..
Acquaintance meaning I never had her hp no..
Never had her MSN..
Never really hang out with her..

I think I met her 4 times
First time @ Rav
Second @ Chinablack
Third @ Zouk
Fourth and last time @ Chinablack..

The fact that I am blogging abt her and her passing on..
Is bcos..I always think of her..
Always..Very often..
Eversince I knew of her death..
I was extremely shocked when I first knew abt it..
Deeply saddenly again when Darren told me the whole story..
She died in a car crash...

It is a pity..
She was a beautiful girl..
Long wavy hair, pretty eyes and a big smile..
And she was the first girl named AUDREY whom I actually liked..
I had always been turned off by gals named Audrey (other than myself of cos)
Bcos Audrey is a beautiful name, meant for beautiful people...
And all, except her, was not worthy of thy name..

I am sad and very sorry she left..
Meaning I will never ever see her again..
She seems a good girl..
A nice girlfriend..
Someone whom you wanna go shopping with..go clubbing with..and bitch with at cafes for hours and hours..

Its really an irony that I miss her quite so much..
Its maybe a pity I never got to know her better..
Whatever it is..
Goodbye Audrey..
I will remember you for a long, long time..

|1:21 PM|

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Alex's Birthday...

I get upset bcos we seldom meet-up.. So I myself appreciate the times we are together.. Therefore I hope you too do share the same feelings...

F R I E N D S 4 E V E R !!

Alex 21st Birthday!!

Cheers =)

That is Zhong Guo Cha (China Tea) he is holding..not XO wor...