Saturday, June 11, 2005
Loving every minute of my life now...
I am beginning to love my life and myself more and more..
If you notice, you would realise that I dun say that my life sux anymore!!
Even though I still can't sleep,
(I also dunno y)I am happy often.
Many things make me happy...
The details, I will keep them to myself...
The joy and smiles I derived from this little things are giving me hope again...
Yesterday was the first night in a long long time I laid on my bed at 10pm...
I was about to fall asleep when Lewis called and said he was at my doorstep...
I wondered what he wanted and when I opened the door,
He came with a cream, for my fingers...
Lewis, I know you still read my blog and I wanna tell you this:
"It was nice of you really..to come all the way to give me the cream..but its really difficult for me to love you again, or even another guy..You will be a friend to me from now on, whether or not you want it..!! But I really appreciate all the care you are still going to continue to give me..If one day it ever stops, I will know you have moved on..and that..its my ultimate wish for you.." And as I am fell asleep again, a horny vampire (he told me not to mention his name) called me and woke me up..and then I can't sleep again..because I am starting to enjoy talking to him..
And this morning, SL msged me at 8+ in the morning!!! Oh my!! Haha..after that, I drifted in and out of dreamland..having weird dreams all the way till 10...b4 i had to wake up to give tuition again...ARgH!!!
Going for midnight shopping at Suntec with my cousin Linghui, and the gals...hope it will be a fruitful one!!!
Yipppeee...
Life rocks!!!
|2:50 PM|
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
One year anniversary for my working life!!!!
Boys and Gals, On ya speakers!!! I attached a song to my blog!!! =)
Today is 08/06/2005..Its one year since I started work...
Happy one year anniversary!!!!
Many things have changed in this one year...
1) I am single now..
2) I dun stay in AMK anymore..
3) I dun bear any hopes that I can go to Aust and study anymore..
4) But I have more friends...Friends that truly care...u!!!
Last night, I left work at around 11pm..its the lastest thus far since i started work...and I hope that it will be the lastest even until the very day I leave. Luckily, there was nice people staying around to chat with me, and I watched TV in between the times when I had nothing to do. At 10.30pm, I even comtemplated to sleep in the lab, I was so tired and confused that i felt like crying in front of the monitor...But in the end, I still decided to go home. Aloy, Thad and Lewis all offered to drive me home, if they had a car...but they did not..haha..its ok..its the thoughts that count!! =) Junfeng was nice too, even though he did not offer to drive me home, he waited for me online...haha..when i went home, i still saw him online..haha..he was really waiting for me..I really dunno if he is "ting hua" or stoopid..haha..anyway..it was nice of you to accompany me until i wanted to sleep. And for that, you shall get ya
birthday present!! And the mice is still part of the present wor...
Junfeng and I chatted about many things, some pretty lame stuff really..like what his favourite cartoon character was...I shall not say for now...You guys (who know Junfeng) can guess!! Do it in the tagboard!! Its really hilarious..the right winner shall be crowned "The Ultimate Genius" by me..haha...We also talked about gals..about how guys like gals that needed to be protected..Amongst us, I think BL and SL are really gals that guys would fall in love with, because they seem so fragile that every men wants to take care of them, no offence gals, but I envy you..HowI wish men would wanna protect me too...but I guess I am just too head-strong...or perhaps my looks already scared them off?? haha...maybe I should start covering my mouth with a flowery handkerchief when I laugh, instead of throwing my head back and clapping my lap..haha..sometimes, it feels like a an orang utan...
My project has not been going well, at least for today...that means i will have to repeat it again..Was helping Prof Urs look for another LO to replace me when i go, so i seeked Dr Forday's help. In one day, there is already 15 replies, and its still counting...that proves that there are really many people out there in need of a job...haha...
Oh, and yes...to correct what i said yesterday...
I would stay single
a longer time...
not all my life...
These attention and love I am getting from friends are overwhelming...but I dun think they will shower me with love forever, cos once they find someone themselves, they wun care about me anymore le...
**weep weep**At least thats what I think...
So in the meantime..I still wanna wait for my "white horse prince".
It feels good to be able to openly flirt again...to know that there is someone who appreciates you and would stay up late just to talk to you...
It feels good when someone msgs you a sweet-lil-nothing and make you blush just by staring at the msg...
Buuuuuuuut....its always like this when you are single...and only when you are single..
And when you are attached...everything becomes ashes..
All the promises made to you becomes dirt...and you become dirt...
I don't like that...Really really don't...
I hate empty promises...
Maybe thats y I am scared to commit...
Being woo-ed is better than woo-ed already...
I dun wanna be a past tense...
I wanna be the future tense...
|6:12 PM|
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Tuesday - Another Tuesday!!
I haven been able to sleep recently, again...
About one month ago, Pheooona passed me 10 pink and white pills, in an envelop that said "Don't kill yourself with this!!"
Until yesterday, there was still at least 5 left..
So gals and boys, dun worry, I am not overdosed yet...
I really wanna thank those gals and guys who stood by me all this while,
who laughingly asked how I was, who advised me not to eat pills, who dated me out as often as they can..
I really appreciate it...
If losing a man exchanges some much more in my life, I rather be single all my life..
just to be loved by everyone else that I love too..
***
Met Thad online today..
Thad said he is happy that I am suffering a far worse fate than him,
I scolded him as usual and but reassured him that I am fine.
He told me he had always regarded me as a strong woman who dun tell lies,
therefore he will take my word that I am happy and fine.
I am flattered he has such respect for me.
But how true is it? To hear it from thad?
Strong? Sometimes I wonder myself..
Dun tell lies? Sometimes I lie to you that I am not free to meet you..Whaha..
**T H A D**
I have never done anything for you to care for me that much,
But I am happy you bother...
So I decided I shall be nice to you..
Take back that curse I casted on you years ago..
So that you can find a gal..
And lose ya "V" soon...
Heeee....
***
Rob got back from Taiwan yesterday
And he msged me..
He will bring me the cute vampire soon, he promised..
He asked if I am single now..
I asked him if it matters?
To him? Or whether i would get the vamp only if I were single...
He decided not to know the answer..
He is a very nice fren..
Many years back, I was very very upset over some family matters
And I called him out to talk to me...
It was in the wee hours of the night...
I weeped so badly in front of him..
And he just sat there with me..
Silently....
Many years later, I still appreciate that night...
Someone I know I will "love" Rob for the rest of my life,
And bcos of some history, I still feel apologetic to him...
But I am glad that we are still frens...
He msged me this morning again..
I hope I will see him more often in NUS..
He is a good fren...
Some man I would want as a fren for the rest of my life...
***
Vernon, my da-ge,
who never fails to comfort me with wise advice
Has found a galfren recently,
I often teased him about it..
I tell from the way he "speaks" that he is very very happy..
And deep down in my heart,
I feel happy for him too...
He makes me feel protected in a brotherly way...
And I like him for that...
***
These men,
Some whom I know for more than half a decade,
Definitely do not have evil/horny/bad intentions on me..
They do not want me to be their galfrens definitely,
But they still care...
Its not true that men are only nice to you when they want you to be their gals...
At least, for these nice guys of mine...
=)
|2:32 PM|
Monday, June 06, 2005
A Lot Like Love
Hey Gals, try this webbie and and the quizzes..its fun!!
http://alotlikelove.movies.go.com/I wanna watch the show...really really want to!!!!
MAN WANTED!!
Requirements:
Tall dark and handsome
Able to fork out $9.50 for the tix and another $6.50 for popcorn
**If no men are found, gals: please save my already diminishing loveflame by writing my HP no on the backs of bus seats and get some horny old man to call me ok?? thanks!!**
Check out the trailers too..its hilarious...and deadly romantic!!!
"I'll be there for you!!"
This 5 words,
I swear to you.
I will drop dead at his feet for someone to say that to me!!
|12:03 PM|
Sunday, June 05, 2005
Do I Still Love Him?
It was easy noticing him...It was easier to fall in love in with him...But it was NEVER easy to loving him...HE was a reserved man...HE never told many people about his stuff..I guess he plucked up lots of courage to open up to me..And for that, I am grateful to him..For loving me so faithfully that he trusted me enough..But somehow, In the status that we were together for 2 and a half years..I felt that he never told me enough,Often he is still holding things back from me..Anyway, who am I to critcise?HE was right...I never opened myself to him too....I promised to watch Madagascar with him..I was determined in keeping that promise...Until I got pissed off by him yesterday,And to spite him,I decided to watch it with Darren and Siewling..Sometimes I really dunno myself...Did I really care about meeting him at all?Maybe not...But if anything was to be learnt yesterday?I found one more thing I want in THE MAN..He must be decisive..He must be able to give me answers,Instead of asking me questions..I really want to put down my strong front..To the people I know, and do not know,I may seem hard to handle...Definitely not the kind of gal you wanna take in ya hands,To give love and hugs to..But deep down inside,Which girl do not need a man's shoulder?This morning,HE told me that he does not want me to be just a "friend"And I told him I do not wanna be his "galfriend"Thus I forced him to "name" our status..Strangers? Ex-steads? Ex-schoolmates? In the end,We still did not come to an answer...I told him that I am hanging out with some new friends,Guys that I might fall in love in the future...He asked me to treat him like one of them..Bcos all guys are the same,They do not wanna be your "friend"They all want you to be their "galfriend"It kinda shocked me to hear that from him,But deep down in my heart,I wonder how true that statement is...
|11:12 PM|
