Saturday, October 22, 2005
As Bitter as Wormwood...
I am feeling bitter again..
Sleeping too much..
TRying desperately to study but always in vain..
I hold grudges of some of my dearest friends..
Vent my anger on Handsome..
And cried myself to sleep that night..
Not because of the fact we argued..
But because I feel stupid..
I am losing faith..
The confidence that I always had has drained away..
Too fast that I feel I am losing myself..
I am losing hope..
Friends keep telling me that "Gal, you can do it!"
Thanks for the motivation..
But I fear I can't live up to expections..
Of my frens, my family and utimately..of myself..
I feel everything is wrong..
I am at pit bottom again..
I wanna go shopping, go clubbing, get wasted..
Buy a gorgeous shirt, get a branded bag..
Down some 6 apple cidal..3 tequila pops..10 vodka orange..1 beer..
Eat good food like that Japanese BBQ at Riverside Quay,
or Fish and Co that I had been lusting for..
Sleep in on a weekend afternoon..watch TV..and rot..
BUT I CANt'T..
I haven done anything like that eversince I started school..
Eversince I am a NANYANG SCHOLAR..
I wake up to study..
Study until I sleep..
Eat cup noodles for dinner..
Treat myself with some Apollo bread and sweets and choc milk..
Thinking that they may make me happier..
Well, ironically..
Its gonna end soon..
You aint gonna be a scholar anymore..
Cos you are shitty in ya results..
And you are of no use to NTU at all....
I miss my lil office is NUS..I need a hug..
I want to cry..
|11:44 AM|
