Me, myself and I

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Do I Still Love Him?

It was easy noticing him...
It was easier to fall in love in with him...
But it was NEVER easy to loving him...

HE was a reserved man...
HE never told many people about his stuff..
I guess he plucked up lots of courage to open up to me..
And for that,
I am grateful to him..
For loving me so faithfully that he trusted me enough..
But somehow,
In the status that we were together for 2 and a half years..
I felt that he never told me enough,
Often he is still holding things back from me..
Anyway, who am I to critcise?
HE was right...
I never opened myself to him too....

I promised to watch Madagascar with him..
I was determined in keeping that promise...
Until I got pissed off by him yesterday,
And to spite him,
I decided to watch it with Darren and Siewling..

Sometimes I really dunno myself...
Did I really care about meeting him at all?
Maybe not...
But if anything was to be learnt yesterday?
I found one more thing I want in THE MAN..
He must be decisive..
He must be able to give me answers,
Instead of asking me questions..
I really want to put down my strong front..

To the people I know, and do not know,
I may seem hard to handle...
Definitely not the kind of gal you wanna take in ya hands,
To give love and hugs to..
But deep down inside,
Which girl do not need a man's shoulder?

This morning,
HE told me that he does not want me to be just a "friend"
And I told him I do not wanna be his "galfriend"
Thus I forced him to "name" our status..
Strangers? Ex-steads? Ex-schoolmates?
In the end,
We still did not come to an answer...

I told him that I am hanging out with some new friends,
Guys that I might fall in love in the future...
He asked me to treat him like one of them..
Bcos all guys are the same,
They do not wanna be your "friend"
They all want you to be their "galfriend"
It kinda shocked me to hear that from him,
But deep down in my heart,
I wonder how true that statement is...

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