Sunday, May 08, 2005
Insomnia - Sleepless nights are dangerous...
I am losing sleep, something that I have never experienced in a long time.
Well, I haven been single in a long time. I have resorted to getting pills from Fiona, cos all these sleepless nights have drained me out physically and mentally. I am becoming, like I always say, kuku...When I can't sleep, I think of all sorts of shit. I think of suicidal means and how maybe I should just die...I think of how many people have achieved what I always wanted - all by a pretty face and nice boobs, maybe I just shouldn't study so hard...
Sometimes I feel like crying, breaking out in hysterical sobs and wails, but I can only tear silently and discreetly on the bus. And I feel so bloody pathetic. I am too lazy and afraid to go to parks and seasides to cry. Too embarassed to cry in the bathroom or at home. So I can only weep silently in my bed, in front of this comp, and on lonely bus trips..
I feel like I have been dumped into a cold open sea, and right now, I am in the middle part of the sea, where the water is the deepest..I am struggling hard to stay afloat..but even when I swim to the other side of shore, what will happen?
I will be so god-damned alone on the island...
|12:47 AM|
